A month...REALLY?

So, this past Wednesday, it has been a month since we met our sweet Sarah! What a whirlwind. She is adjusting well and I think that we are too. To say it has it has been easy isn't true, but it has been wonderful, sweet, life changing, frustrating, and exhausting. Sarah is beautiful, smart, funny, dramatic, stubborn, and rebellious AND I love her. One of the amazing things that has come out of being Sarah's parent is that seeing how Todd is with her and it just makes me love him even more and I didn't think that was possible. He is so good with her and she loves him! Sarah is picking up so many words....she says apples, bananas, book, "all done," DaDa, ball, and finally said "please" tonight. She doesn't say mommy yet, but she will. She loves music and loves to dance. She always wants me to turn up the music louder when we are in the car. It is funny! It is so much fun watching her grow and learn new things. I am blessed to be her parent. Often, I feel inadequate. I get frustrated with myself because I don't have more patience, I wonder if she feels loved by  me, I worry I am not the mommy she needs, and I don't know if I do too much for her and am hindering her learning. Parenting is hard. Last week, she wanted a lollipop right before dinner and of course, I said no, she threw herself on the floor in the kitchen and screamed and cried, but I stuck to my guns and didn't give in. I just walked around her laying on the floor fixing dinner. I wanted so badly just to give her the lollipop, but all that kept going through my mind, was it is a lollipop now, but what will it be later. She finally gave up, got up and stop crying. I had mixed emotions....part guilt and part frustration. I want to raise a person who has self control, is responsible, is kind and compassionate, and  that gives more than she takes so I guess in my crazy mind that begins with a lollipop. 

 More later.......I need to spend some precious alone time with Todd! 

Home Sweet Home....

We have been home a week now. Things are going well. We have been trying to get our new little family on a schedule and trying to figure out what works for everyone. Sarah seems to be adjusting well. She is sleeping and eating so good. She loves to eat and is willing to try new foods. I have to be honest, the adjustment for Todd and I has been harder than I thought it would be. We have been alone for so long with the freedom to whatever we wanted whenever we wanted that it is hard to have to devote all of your time and energy to a little one. I don't want to sound ungrateful because I am not, I love Sarah, but it is an adjustment. Sarah is so smart, but so stubborn. She will do things she knows she not suppose to right in front of us and look at us and smile. What a stinker. She is so funny too. Tonight at dinner she would say "yum" after every bite of dinner she took. She has to go to the cardiologist on Wednesday in Charleston. She is going to be sedated to have some test run. For some of you that don't know, Sarah was born with a Tetrology of Fallot. It is a congenital heart defect that requires open heart surgery. Sarah received OHS when she was 11 months old. She seems to be doing really well, but I will feel so much better when we have the results of the tests on Wednesday. She is also getting blood work completed that day. So please pray that everything comes back good and she is as healthy as she seems. Tonight as I was rocking her to sleep, I wondered what she thinks of her new home and family. What a change for her. She is 28 months old and we are her third family. Well, that is as far as we know. We know that she was abandoned when she was 9 months old on the steps of a technical college and that she lived with a foster family prior to us meeting her. I have always assumed that her biological parents abandoned her, but I don't know that for sure. I am sure that not knowing her history will play a part in who she becomes, I just pray that she will feel love and security with us. Here are some new pictures of her...

 Getting some Daddy love....

I love this picture....is that some sass or what??