166 Days

We are 166 days of "log in dates" from our referral. We are LID June 20, 2006 and the CCAA has referred up to January 4, 2006. So, what does that mean for us? Well, in terms of when we will get our referral, completely depends on how many days the CCAA refers each month. The average lately has been around seven days a month. It's a complicated because we don't know how many days the CCAA rwill refer each month and not everyday in a month is a "log in date." I hope this explanation makes sense. Even though, our referral may be a year and a half away, I am getting excited. This month I participated in an oneses swap with some other waiting mothers. I received an adorable ladybug outfit. It has the word "sweetie" written all over it. I just love it. Ladybugs are a sign of good luck in China.

I was thinking today when would be the best time to begin Sarah's nursery. We are doing an animal theme in her room. I love animals. I hope Sarah will too. I just can't wait to see her beautiful little face!!!

My Forever Friend

The year that Todd and I got married, we adopted our golden retreiver, Bryce. He was two years old when we adopted him. He is the greatest pet I could ever imagine having. He is loyal, sweet, and affectionate. I can't imagine not having him around. Since we haven't had any children yet, he has become our child. While we were going our fertility treatments, he was always so loyal. I remmber laying the couch crying about having another failed pregnancy and Bryce jumping on the couch laying his head on my stomach and staring at me with sad eyes. When I talk to Bryce, he look at me and moves his head from side to side. I just knows he is listening. I try not to think about the time when he is not around. I will be heartbroken. I can't wait for him to meet Sarah. He is so good with children. I just love, love him!

Waiting....

Last week I had a hard time dealing with the wait. When we began our adoption process, the wait was about 6-9 months and now the wait is two years. Adoptive families that received referrals this month from China have waited two years. Waiting is so difficult. There are times that I am okay with the wait and othere times it is so heartbreaking. One day last week, after talking with our adoption coordinator, I just cried and cried. Our adoption coordinator, Tina, is wonderful, but unfortunately she has no control over when we will recieve our referral. I was just thinking last night of how much time we spend in life just waiting. I know that God has the perfect child picked out for us and I just need to believe in that, but it is so hard sometimes. I think of the family and friends in our life that have children and I know that they would wait forever for their children because they love them so much and know that they belong in their family. So, I am going to sit and wait for the child God has designed for us. It feels strange at times, but I love that little one so much, yet I have never seen her sweet little face.