My wild, wild Sarah….

I love Sarah….she is so wild! Lovely, but wild. She does some crazy things. I often wonder what is going on in that brilliant mind of hers. Here are some of my favorites Sarah-isms:

• Yesterday we talked with Sarah about listening and we asked her, “What she listened with?” She pointed to one of her ears and then I asked her about her other ear and she said “Don’t listen with it.”
• Over the weekend we were cleaning out the garage and I look over and Sarah had her pants and underwear pulled down around her ankles. I asked her what she is doing and she said, ‘Mommy, pee pee!”
• Almost every night after dinner, Sarah takes all of her clothes off and says, “Naked time!”
• If I refer to Todd as my husband, Sarah will promptly say, “MY husband!”
• The other day I asked Sarah to clean up her mess and she said “Mommy, you do all by self!” I guess she told me…. J

Sarah is such a fun little girl. She is full of energy and is so sweet. About a week or so ago, I saw her stick up for one of her little friends at the playground. I was so proud of her. I don’t worry about Sarah being able to take care of herself. She has gained so much confidence in herself.

What a difference a year makes…..

Life has changed so much over the last year. Some of the changes are obvious to others, but most of the changes have been in our hearts.

I graduated from grad school. After 3 and a half long years, I am done. I am proud of that accomplishment. I ended well.

I am still at home with Sarah and have learned to love it over the last year. I don’t miss work as much and am enjoying the freedom of being home. I still miss the people I worked with, but am able to see some of my friends pretty often.

We left our church after 11 years. It was a very difficult, heart wrenching decision, but we know we made the right decision. We are attending a new church. We are enjoying our time there and are building connections with new friends. I am excited about going there and how I am growing in my faith.

Sarah started preschool last March and is still attending. She loves it. It has been so good for her and I. The teachers there love her and take great care of her.

Sarah language has improved so much over the last year. It is so wonderful seeing her developed in that area. She is still in speech therapy, but she is doing so well.

Sarah has become more confident in how she is. She is more outgoing, affectionate, and loving.

Sarah had a difficult time giving affectionate. She would allow us to give her affection, but she rarely reciprocated. Now, she is a snuggly bunny. She loves to snuggle. She will ask for affection and give it freely. She will say “I love you” without us saying it first.

Sarah is potty trained, Yay! It is so true what people say, “Kids will potty train when they are ready.” You really can’t force it.

Sarah went through a full year of holidays with us and they were so much fun. She is getting more excited about those occasions. She is excited about her birthday already.

Sarah saw the ocean for the first time and loved it. She is a beach kid of girl. She tans so easily and loved playing in the sand and water.

In a year Sarah went for a size 2T/3T to a 4T/5T. Her shoe sizes grew 2 sizes. She is getting so big.

Todd & I are learning each other as parents rather than just husband and wives. It is a fun, hard, exciting journey. Although, life can be difficult there is no other two people I would rather do life with than Todd and Sarah. 

Catching snow at church on Christmas Eve!

 Christmas party at preschool. 

Sometimes I just don’t know what to do….

Let me start off by saying that I love Sarah more than I could ever imagine loving anyone. She is so sweet, smart, funny, and beautiful, but sometimes she is just difficult. In the Chinese adoption community, girls that are sassy are often called “spicy.” Well, Sarah is spicy. I am not sure that I have done such a great job disciplining and teaching her appropriate behavior. Sarah lived with a foster family after leaving her biological for about 18 months before we brought her home. They were an older couple who loved and adored Sarah, but she was the “queen bee.” She wasn’t disciplined or corrected. Although, that made it harder for us, we are so thankful she was loved so much. That is what is most important. When we first came home with Sarah, we didn’t do much disciplining. We concentrated on attachment and bonding and frankly, we didn’t know what to do. I believe that I went through a period of depressed when we got home. I was lonely and felt defeated in the parenting realm. Now, a year and a half later, I am no longer depressed or lonely. I love being home with Sarah. I am enjoying not being on a strict schedule and was able to finish grad school in the meantime. However, Sarah’s behavior is challenging at times. She is so strong willed. She decided what she wants and that is it. She hardly ever compiles on the first request. Sometimes, she will tell me “I boss, mommy!” Wow. Of course, I challenged her thinking and she eventually agreed that Daddy and Mommy are the boss. I have searched my heart and mind (and lots of parenting books) recently and realized that I have made two big mistakes when it comes to parenting Sarah. The first one is that I often take Sarah’s behavior personally. I feel like it is a reflection on me and my parenting skills. There have been times when I feel like she is doing something to me and not appreciating what I am trying to do for her. Immature, I know, but that is how I feel sometimes. I also have a tendency to ask Sarah over and over again to do something (or not to do something) before implementing any consequences. So by the time I have gotten to the 5 or 6 time of asking her to stop, we are both frustrated and angry. I have behaved in some ways towards Sarah that I am not proud of. I haven’t been as patient or sweet as I should of been. I have a tendency to get into a cycle of feeling guilty and that isn’t helpful at all.

So, I am trying to change the way I discipline her. For the some part, we have good days, but the bad ones can be exhausting and intense. I love that Sarah is strong willed. I don’t think I am going to have to worry about people taking advantage of her, but it is hard to parent that part of her personality. I don’t want to change her, but she needs to learn to listen. Sometimes we are telling her to do things for her own safety. She can’t be rebellious her whole life, that won’t make her happy and content in the long run.

I wish she had come with step by step directions. If all it took to be a good parent was to love our children, then I would be the best parent in the world! I love her and she is the greatest blessing God has ever given me. Even with all of her spiciness, I would not trade her for any other little one in the world!

Hope everyone is getting ready for Christmas. All we have left to do is wrap Sarah’s gifts and Todd is graciously taking care of that.

Merry Christmas! Enjoy your time with your family and friends!

 Decorating the tree the day after Thanksgiving. Sarah insisted on wearing her ballerina outfit for the occasion. She is a beauty!