A month...REALLY?
So, this past Wednesday, it has been a month since we met our sweet Sarah! What a whirlwind. She is adjusting well and I think that we are too. To say it has it has been easy isn't true, but it has been wonderful, sweet, life changing, frustrating, and exhausting. Sarah is beautiful, smart, funny, dramatic, stubborn, and rebellious AND I love her. One of the amazing things that has come out of being Sarah's parent is that seeing how Todd is with her and it just makes me love him even more and I didn't think that was possible. He is so good with her and she loves him! Sarah is picking up so many words....she says apples, bananas, book, "all done," DaDa, ball, and finally said "please" tonight. She doesn't say mommy yet, but she will. She loves music and loves to dance. She always wants me to turn up the music louder when we are in the car. It is funny! It is so much fun watching her grow and learn new things. I am blessed to be her parent. Often, I feel inadequate. I get frustrated with myself because I don't have more patience, I wonder if she feels loved by me, I worry I am not the mommy she needs, and I don't know if I do too much for her and am hindering her learning. Parenting is hard. Last week, she wanted a lollipop right before dinner and of course, I said no, she threw herself on the floor in the kitchen and screamed and cried, but I stuck to my guns and didn't give in. I just walked around her laying on the floor fixing dinner. I wanted so badly just to give her the lollipop, but all that kept going through my mind, was it is a lollipop now, but what will it be later. She finally gave up, got up and stop crying. I had mixed emotions....part guilt and part frustration. I want to raise a person who has self control, is responsible, is kind and compassionate, and that gives more than she takes so I guess in my crazy mind that begins with a lollipop.
More later.......I need to spend some precious alone time with Todd!
3 comments:
Maria you are such a wonderful person and there is no doubt you are a wonderful mother. It's hard to not give into your child when they want something but it's your responsibility as a parent to have rules and structure. Trust me I know that feeling of guilt so well, but in the long run that guilt will be replaced by satifaction that you stuck to your guns. You will be rewarded when Sarah grows up to be a kind, loving, responsible, unselfish young lady. I sit back and look at AJ and wonder what did I do to deserve to be her mother, but I think God gives us the children He knows we need. I can't say don't worry because as a mother you always worry or at least I do. Just know you're doing an amazing job and Sarah couldn't have been blessed to have a better mother than you!
You are so right, being a parent is HARD work! Very rarely is it not hard work. Some moments are amazing, others are terrifying. You just have to keep on going, no matter what!
What you wrote struck me on many levels! I can so relate to falling in love with your husband all over again when you see how good they are with your child(ren). And I truly empathize with how hard it is to have to enforce consequences or not give in to your kids. You want to give them the world, but it's our job to help them become responsible one day and therefore, we can't give them everything they want! Great job sticking to your guns, girl - it'll be worth it in the long run. :) Hugs to you all, Jen, Aaron, Jordan and Keira
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