Excited....

I am so excited about decorating our house and tree tomorrow. This is going to be the best Christmas ever. Sarah and I were at Target and when we walked by the Christmas trees, she was in awe. We are going to have so much fun. I can't wait to Christmas shop for her. I want to make sure that we don't go overboard with buying her presents. I want her to know what the Christmas season is really about. I have been telling her that Christmas is Jesus' birthday and she will say, "Jesus" and shake her head.  Thanksgiving went well. She was overwhelmed at times, but we managed. She had a great time spending time with Todd's family. We also got to meet my sister and spend the afternoon with her and my nieces. It was  one of the highlights of the trip.

I have been feeling much better the the last few days. I have just decided not to put so much pressure on myself to finish school next semester. If I don't give myself permission to slow down, then I won't ever finish. I have come to realize that everything I am doing right now expands emotional energy and my bucket is empty. I am working on putting some things in place that will help fill up my "bucket." It is hard to deal with the stress of life if I have no reserve. 

The last week or so Sarah's language has greatly improved. It is almost like everything is just falling into place for her. We are STILL wanting on a speech therapy evaluation. I am getting frustrated. I hope it happens soon. 

Oh, yeah, Sarah is suppose to get her cast off on Monday. We went to the doctor the Monday before Thanksgiving and her cast was taken off, x-rays were done, and the doctor put it back on. It was awful. The poor little girl was so upset, she screamed and cried until she almost made herself sick. Todd is going with us on Monday....Thank God!! Here are some updated pictures of our little family. 

Madness….

Things have been so stressful the last few weeks! Todd’s mother passed away last week. It is sad. We knew that Carolyn had cancer and we never expected her to pass so soon. Todd seems to be doing okay. I am not sure that it has hit him yet. I think the impact of him losing his mother will hit him when we go to West Virginia around Thanksgiving. We have never traveled with Sarah so I am not sure how all of that will go. I am concerned that it will be difficult for her. She gets over stimulated easily and I hope that she can manage those feelings. I am trying to learn ways to help her manage those feelings. We are still learning each other. This week marks our four months together as a family. My life before Sarah is becoming a distant memory. I think that I am beginning to accept the differences in my life before Sarah and my life now. I have been less and less frustrated with things being different. I think we are getting into a groove. Sarah is beginning to understand more and more of what we say. The problem is that we don’t understand much of what she says. It is hard because sometimes we don’t know what she needs or wants. We are still working on getting a speech, physical, and occupational therapy evaluation for Sarah. I think we are getting closer and closer getting that done. I think that it will help Sarah so much!! I am also working on finding a way for Sarah to spend more time with other children. She loves it and it is so good for her. I have been thinking this week about whether or not Sarah will be an only child. We have talked about adopting again, but right now the thought of adding another child to our family in the near future feels overwhelming. It would be so hard for Sarah right now. She is so jealous of us right now and I think that until she is settled and secure we can’t even begin to think about another adoption. I feel so conflicted about adopting again. We are older parents so bringing a little one into our family would be challenging, but also because we are older parents I wonder if we shouldn’t adopt another child so Sarah won’t be alone. Oh, I don’t know. I do know that I don’t have to decide right now.

Sarah’s surgery went well. She was such a trooper. Those of you that know Sarah won’t be surprise by this, but the nurses in the surgery room described Sarah as a “pill.” Apparently, she wasn’t happy being back there without us. She cried and cried in recover. It was so hard to see her so confused and upset. I don’t think that she even remembered what happened. She is getting along great with that cast. It is almost like she said to herself,  “I am not going to let this silly cast keep me down.” Of course, it is harder to do certain things with her with one hand, but she is adapting very well. I am hoping that she can get the cast taken off on the 22^nd. The doctor said that it was a possibility that she could get it off in two weeks if the surgery wasn’t complicated. The doctor said that it wasn’t complicated so I am hoping that she can get it off sooner than later. The cast is so heavy on her little body. When she runs or walks fast, she becomes unbalanced. I am so thankful that she went through the surgery so well. She amazes me. She just keeps plugging along. She has gone through more traumas in her little life than most adults have…three families, an open heart surgery, moving to another country, and dealing with so many changes. At times, when all that is on the forefront of my mind and heart, I give into Sarah and try to accommodate all of her needs and wants. I don't want for her to be upset. That is not good because it creates confusion and frustration. She needs discipline, loving discipline, but discipline none the less. It needs to be constant. Sometimes, I let her get away with things when I feel sad for her or am able to handle it, but when I am tired or frustrated; I have a tendency to discipline quicker and maybe when stricter. I came to this realization last night while talking with Todd. Some of Sarah’s behaviors are my fault or at least I have made it confusing to her. I am going to work on it. I am going to be working on something about myself forever, aren’t I? I will never just arrive….

Anxiety….

I have been having so much anxiety lately that I often wake up in the middle of the night….worrying. Sarah has been sleeping all night and I have been awake. How frustrating. I am concerned about Sarah’s surgery. It is on November 8^th. I am not necessarily concerned about anything happening to her, but I am worried that she is going to be so frustrated wearing a cast. I know that she will be in some pain, but she is TOUGH, right? A mother never wants to see her baby in pain. I am concerned that the surgery may hinder some of the attachment progress that we have made. Our attachment seems to loom over every decision that we make. Today, I was frustrated and I yelled at Sarah. She was whining and whining and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I felt guilty. I apologized to her, but I don’t think that she understood what I was saying. I know that yelling isn’t productive. I wish I didn’t get so frustrated. I feel inadequate most of the time. I want to be the mother that Sarah needs so much.  I know that attachment is a process and that we haven't even been home for four months yet. I think that I expect too much. I need to slow down. I need to let the process happen and trust God. I just want to be the mommy needs! Often, I don’t know what she needs. Her not being able to communicate with us is much more difficult than I thought it would be. We are trying to get a speech and physical evaluation for Sarah. The early interventionist is supposed to set it up, but she said that everyone is full. I know she is trying and I don’t blame her, but the overall system is messed up. Sarah needs the services and they should be provided for her in a timely manner. Todd is on a new work schedule. He gets home an hour later each day, but he has every other Monday off. Of course, I go to my internship site on Monday afternoon so I don’t even get to spend the day with him and Sarah. I am so tired of school. It just isn’t a priority for me anymore. I want to enjoy it, but I don’t. I probably should have taken the semester off, but I was afraid that I would never go back. I know going to school was something that God wanted me to do, but it is so hard right now! Todd and I never get to spend much time together anymore. I miss him. We went out for the first time last weekend alone. It was so wonderful. My parents watched Sarah so we didn’t have to worry about her. We are going to try and go out once a month! I hope that we can. We need to. It is good for us and good for Sarah to see us enjoy each other. I feel like this post is full of complaints…I am sorry! Here are some updated pictures of my beauty…..

The last week has been pretty good. Sarah and I are getting in a groove. For some reason, I didn’t feel like we connected much today, but overall things are getting better and better everyday. I think she is beginning to trust me and I am learning to love her the way she needs. She is growing and growing. So many of her clothes are too small. I have had the pleasure doing some clothes shopping for her. I know that I am bias, but she looks cute is everything. Her face is even changing. I know this sounds silly, but sometimes she looks like a little woman. We took her to Toys R Us over the weekend. She was so excited. The poor thing got so excited, she became overwhelmed. I think that Sarah has some sensory issues when she is in wide, open spaces with a lot going on. She is like that at church sometimes too. I believe that this is something that we can overcome. I just don’t think she has experienced many things/places. This weekend we are attending a picnic with other adoptive families. I am excited; I hope we have a good time. Maybe Sarah will meet some other children her age.  We are trying to find ways for her to have the chance to interact with other children. I am sure she is getting tired of just playing with just mommy all the time. Our anniversary is this week… the 13^th. We have been married for 9 years. Wow…it doesn’t seem like that long. I am so thankful that we got married. I love being married. Sure, it’s work, but so worth. People give up so easily on their marriages these days. I know that sounds judgmental, but I don’t think it is that hard to be married. It is about acceptance, forgiveness, and commitment. Love helps, of course, but love is easy. Commitment is hard. Real forgiveness…and letting go is hard. Todd is easy to be married to. I am not so sure I am at times. I can be demanding and unforgiving at times, but I am working on it. I am so much better than I use to be. God has grown me and matured me in that area the last few years. So, Happy Anniversary Todd. I love you more and more each year.

I have been missing my college friends so much lately. What a wonderful time in my life. I had so much freedom. I have to admit, I miss that free, carefree life sometimes. I miss being around people that I don’t have to explain myself to, they already know and accept me. We talked about having an informal reunion in June. I hope we do, it would be so much fun!! I talked to Juanita today…she is one of my best friends. We went to college together. She is so easy to talk to. She understands me and loves me anyway.

Here is one new pictures of our Sarah…she is such a beauty. What are we going to do when she is a teenager??

I know, I know I am so far behind….

Things are going well with Miss Sarah. She is such a sweet, sassy little girl! She is picking up the language more and more and she is sleeping all night most nights. We had Sarah evaluated by Early Invention and she is about 10-11 months behind her actual age. Of course, her being behind in her speech is a huge part of all of this. She is going to be evaluated by speech, occupational, and physical therapists. I am excited about her getting the help she needs. I know she will catch up. I am amazed how much she has changed since July 11^th. She sometimes seems like a different child. One of the programs that are offered by EI is a mom morning out on Tuesdays. This would offer Sarah some socialization time with other children and it is a place where she can she can work on her speech and social skills. At first, I wasn’t going to let her go, but I think I may. She would love it and it would give me some time to myself to do homework or shop. I have class every other Tuesday so she would only attend every other Tuesday.

Sarah is having surgery to remove his extra thumb on November 8^th. She will be in a cast on 3-4 weeks. The cast will go up to her shoulder. I know…that seems crazy doesn’t it? The doctor said that if he only casted her to her elbow, she would take the cast off. I know that she will be okay, but I wish that she didn’t have to go through all of that. I know that I will be worried that day, but right now, I am okay with it. Let’s pray that she doesn’t use the cast as a weapon! J

One of the hardest things about adopting Sarah is the stress it has put on Todd’s and I relationship. We were so used to doing our own thing and spending as much time as we wanted to together. I miss that time with him. I have been feeling lonely lately. I miss work and my freedom. I love Sarah and am so grateful, but I miss my old life sometimes. Honestly, I feel like my life has changed so much more than Todd’s has. It isn’t his fault, but it is true. I am grateful for my time at home with Sarah, but it is hard sometimes. Being a parent is hard, lovely, heartbreaking, frustrating, fulfilling, and wonderful! I don’t think that women often feel the freedom to express how hard it is to be a mother. It is hard for dads too.

Let me share one of the sweetest moments of my life….last night when I was rocking my Sarah to sleep, she was laying on my chest, sat up and proceeded to kiss my lips, cheeks, nose, and forehead. She moved my face side to side and smiled sweetly at me. I think Sarah wants to take care of me sometimes. She is lovely….!

I promise to try and write more often!! 

Too long...

It has been too long since I have written. Things have been so busy! We were getting into a routine and then it was time for me to go back to school. I started back to class last week and we are having a hard time adjusting. My mom has been watching Sarah some for us and she has been spending more and more time with her Daddy. I am only away from Sarah about ten hours a week, but it is hard. I miss her, but I have to admit it is nice to be "something" other than mommy for awhile. I am having a hard time getting my homework done. I am going to have to figure out some sort of schedule. Tomorrow I am going to go to library for awhile so that I can study. I feel torn because I feel guilty for leaving Sarah even though she will be with her Daddy. I am so thankful that I don't have to work right now. I can't imagine putting Sarah is daycare for 40-50 hours a week. I am so grateful that Todd has worked so hard for us so I don't have to work. Sarah is doing good. She is still having some sleep issues, but we are hanging in there. She gets up numerous times a night and sometimes all it takes is me rubbing her back for a few minutes, but other times she is up for hours. I believe that some of it is grief, but  I just don't know what to do for her. I know that things will get better!

Here are a few updated pictures of Sarah....she is so beautiful!

A month...REALLY?

So, this past Wednesday, it has been a month since we met our sweet Sarah! What a whirlwind. She is adjusting well and I think that we are too. To say it has it has been easy isn't true, but it has been wonderful, sweet, life changing, frustrating, and exhausting. Sarah is beautiful, smart, funny, dramatic, stubborn, and rebellious AND I love her. One of the amazing things that has come out of being Sarah's parent is that seeing how Todd is with her and it just makes me love him even more and I didn't think that was possible. He is so good with her and she loves him! Sarah is picking up so many words....she says apples, bananas, book, "all done," DaDa, ball, and finally said "please" tonight. She doesn't say mommy yet, but she will. She loves music and loves to dance. She always wants me to turn up the music louder when we are in the car. It is funny! It is so much fun watching her grow and learn new things. I am blessed to be her parent. Often, I feel inadequate. I get frustrated with myself because I don't have more patience, I wonder if she feels loved by  me, I worry I am not the mommy she needs, and I don't know if I do too much for her and am hindering her learning. Parenting is hard. Last week, she wanted a lollipop right before dinner and of course, I said no, she threw herself on the floor in the kitchen and screamed and cried, but I stuck to my guns and didn't give in. I just walked around her laying on the floor fixing dinner. I wanted so badly just to give her the lollipop, but all that kept going through my mind, was it is a lollipop now, but what will it be later. She finally gave up, got up and stop crying. I had mixed emotions....part guilt and part frustration. I want to raise a person who has self control, is responsible, is kind and compassionate, and  that gives more than she takes so I guess in my crazy mind that begins with a lollipop. 

 More later.......I need to spend some precious alone time with Todd! 

Home Sweet Home....

We have been home a week now. Things are going well. We have been trying to get our new little family on a schedule and trying to figure out what works for everyone. Sarah seems to be adjusting well. She is sleeping and eating so good. She loves to eat and is willing to try new foods. I have to be honest, the adjustment for Todd and I has been harder than I thought it would be. We have been alone for so long with the freedom to whatever we wanted whenever we wanted that it is hard to have to devote all of your time and energy to a little one. I don't want to sound ungrateful because I am not, I love Sarah, but it is an adjustment. Sarah is so smart, but so stubborn. She will do things she knows she not suppose to right in front of us and look at us and smile. What a stinker. She is so funny too. Tonight at dinner she would say "yum" after every bite of dinner she took. She has to go to the cardiologist on Wednesday in Charleston. She is going to be sedated to have some test run. For some of you that don't know, Sarah was born with a Tetrology of Fallot. It is a congenital heart defect that requires open heart surgery. Sarah received OHS when she was 11 months old. She seems to be doing really well, but I will feel so much better when we have the results of the tests on Wednesday. She is also getting blood work completed that day. So please pray that everything comes back good and she is as healthy as she seems. Tonight as I was rocking her to sleep, I wondered what she thinks of her new home and family. What a change for her. She is 28 months old and we are her third family. Well, that is as far as we know. We know that she was abandoned when she was 9 months old on the steps of a technical college and that she lived with a foster family prior to us meeting her. I have always assumed that her biological parents abandoned her, but I don't know that for sure. I am sure that not knowing her history will play a part in who she becomes, I just pray that she will feel love and security with us. Here are some new pictures of her...

 Getting some Daddy love....

I love this picture....is that some sass or what??

Leaving Tonight....

Yeah! We are leaving China this evening and will arrive in Atlanta on the 24th at 8:15am. Rick and Angie are picking us up and my mom and dad will be waiting for us when we get home. I am so excited to see them and to get home. I know that this will be another transition for Sarah, but I have faith that we will get through it as a family. I am looking forward to establishing a routine and her being in a place where she is safe ans secure to run around and play. Our hotel room isn't kid friendly! Please pray for safe travels for us and all of the families in our travel group. We said goodbye to Melanie and Ryan and their family and it was difficlut. We have been with them everyday and I am going to miss them. Their daughter is so precious. She is such a beautiful baby. I hope that we keep in touch!! 

We are hoping since we are traveling overnight that Sarah will sleep....pray for that for us also!! There are four other families that we know that will be on our flight to LAX so hopefully it will not be a chorus of four screaming babies! :)

We can't wait to be home!! Also.....Juanita (my best friend from college) is in the hospital as we speak being induced...little Amelia will be her first!!

Leaving China tomorrow evening....

It's Thursday morning here and we are flying out of Guangzhou tomorrow night at 9:00. It is a 12 and a half hour flight to LAX and then we will have a layover there and board another plane to Atlanta. We will arrive in Atlanta on Saturday morning....then drive home. It was a hard trip coming here so I am imagining that it will be a little more difficult with a two year old. Sarah is pretty easy going, but that is a long time to be confided. We are excited about going home. I think that everything will be easier there. Sadly, it is another adjustment for Sarah, but I have faith that she will do just fine. She was a bit cranky yesterday, but she didn't have a nap because we had an appointment. She went to sleep reluctantly around 8:00 and is still sleeping. We gave her a bath yesterday which was a little better, but still lots of screaming and crying. She has been in the pool and does pretty well as long as hold her, but the tub is not her favorite. It will get better and we will have to be okay with her being upset. :( There is a family here that we have become close to that we are going to miss! That and Sarah leaving her homeland is the only reason we are sad about leaving. I hope that we will be able to stay in touch with them!! 

Yesterday at our swearing in at the American Consulate there were about 80 American families there adopting children. It was neat to see that. There was one family there that this was there 5th adoption from China. How incredible. I got teary eyed seeing all of the children. The children ranged from elementary school age to babies. Lots of kids with special needs and parents from different walks of life. We can't wait to see everyone......

Happy girl!!!!

Waiting on her food.....

Not feeling so good....

Sarah is not feeling so great. She had five vaccines yesterday and woke up feeling yucky this morning. We knew that she didn't feel well when she would not eat any Cheerios (she LOVES the,)  and woke up at 6:00am. She is already sleeping again and it is only 11:00am. We put some Tylenol in her drink at breakfast so we are hoping she feels better soon! The whole vaccine situation was horrible. She didn't seem to be upset with us, but she cried and cried. Todd was sweet enough to go in with her while I walked the hallway. Her tears dried up some when we gave her a lollipop. She loves lollipops so she gets them as a reward for doing well. I am not sure that she gets it, but she will eventually. I haven't been feeling well again, but am better today. My stomach hasn't been the same since I left South Carolina. I have lost about 10 pounds since we have been here. Alot of the other people in our group have lost weight too. I hoping it will stay off! :):)

Todd is doing well. He is so laid back and so helpful. There is no way I could do this without him. There are some ladies here that traveled by themselves to adopt their babies. They are much stronger than me. We will only have three more nights here....then the LONG flight home, but at least we will be at home. We miss everyone so much!!

Look at that pretty smile!!!

That is Sarah's confused looked....

That is Sarah's "we are not happy" face....

She is so beautiful.......

 

We made it....

Our flight to Guangzhou was delayed and it was 11:30 before we got into the hotel. Sarah was so tired and cried and screamed on the plane. It was so hard for her to sit in a stroller at the airport and then on a plane for hours. Sarah is the kid of girl that needs her sleep. She sleeps 10-12 hours a night and naps for about 2 hours a day. Guangzhou is so different from Nanchang. It is much more like the West and the hotel we are staying at is full with adoptive families. We spent some time this evening in the playroom and meet some really neat people. We went to eat with about 20 other people. It is encouraging to spend time with people that we going through the same thing that you are. Sarah had her medical exam and TB skin test today. She was a trooper. There were some tears but she bounced back rather quickly. She has to go back in Monday to have her TB test read and get her vaccinations. I don't know how many she is going to have to have, but pray that she doesn't have to have many and that she does not get sick from them. We had a good day together. We seem to be getting into a routine and I think that she is learning to trust us more and more. She is sweeter and sweeter everyday. She has such animated facial expressions. For some reason I am not able to upload pictures into the blog right now. I will post some pictures as soon as I can.  We miss everyone!

Leaving Friday afternoon.....

We are leaving this afternoon for Guangzhou. I can't believe our trip here in Nanchang is coming to a close. We have enjoyed our time here. We will meet up with some more families in Guangzhou. There is a woman that I have been communicating with that will be there and we will finally meet. I am excited. In Guangzhou, we will take care of some paperwork and Sarah will have a medical examine and will more than likely received some vaccinations. Please pray that she doesn't need that many and she will not get sick. I think that it is so wrong that our gov't requires this of us, but this is just want has to be done in order to get a visa to come home AND we want to come home. Sarah is doing good. She is walking more and more everyday. She is so funny! She is smart and understands so much of what is going on. The most frustrating part is that we don't understand what she is saying. She babbles in Chinese and even the Chinese guides we are with don't understand what she is saying. The more we don't understand what she wants the louder she gets. :) The culture is so different here. I could spend hours writing about what we have seen. The people for the most part are friendly and helpful, but of course, the language barrier is difficult. One of the things I am most surprised by is how loud everyone is here. People talk so loudly and fast. Everywhere we go, people stare at us. It feels uncomfortable at times. I am writing in the middle of the night here because I am not feeling well. I am having some stomach issues so pray that I feel better soon!!

Kisses......

Todd and I are the kind of couple that love to kiss and Sarah loves to imitate everything we do so today she was pucking up her lips for a couple of hours on and off then all of a sudden she leaned over and kissed my lips....then it was daddy's turn.....and she kissed him! It was so cute. Here are a few pictures from yesterday. She is so pretty.....

At the playroom in our hotel. 

At dinner last night

Getting to know each other......

Today was a good day! We played and went shopping. Sarah got a new pair of shoes (pink, leather ones :)) and went to a Western Italian Restaurant here owned by a couple in Texas. When we shopping, women were coming up to us and wanting to pick up Sarah( she was in a stroller). It makes me a little uncomfortable. I know they are just curious. A woman actually reached in pick her up. She shook my head no and she seemed to understand. I picked up Sarah so she could talk to the lady and the lady put her arms out so she could hold Sarah and she shook her head no. We laugh because everywhere we go, people are stopping us and looking at the babies and taking our pictures. We say we have our own paparazzi. We went with another family we are traveling with. They are so much fun. We had to take a taxi there and I was never so scared in my life being in a car. People drive so crazy here. There are cars, buses, mopes, and bikes just all over the road AND there are no seat belts. Todd held Sarah and she put her head down against his chest the whole time. I think she was scared too. She did great at the restaurant. She is still funny about what she wants to drink from, but now she has discovered that she likes just having her own water bottle, but it comes out too fast and she coughs so we are working on that. I know that seems weird to talk about, but Sarah finally had a "number 2" yesterday, which seems like a crazy thing to mention, but it a big deal. All of the families in the group are asking each other...Sarah was the second one to achieved that goal! :) Last night when we got back we gave her a bath. It was the most horrible 5 minutes! She screamed, cried, hit her face, and arched her back. Todd finally got in the tub and rinsed her as fast as I could. She was screaming so loud our friends next door could hear her. I cried and cried. Poor Sarah. We just don't know what to do. She cries some when I change her diaper and when we dress her, but that is better. I felt so horrible. I was able to cream her up. She loves that. I brushes her hair and then she brushed mine. She is sweet. She did go to sleep eventually, but it took longer than usual. She feel asleep on my chest and when I put her in the crib she cried again so of course I laid with her in the bed until she was in a deep sleep. I had a hard time falling asleep because I felt so bad. Also, Todd's tummy was upset last night. He thinks the food was too rich last night. I hope he feels better today. I will post a couple of pictures later when Todd is up. I am sure how to download them on his computer.Sarah doesn't like getting her picture taken...she doesn't like the flash, but we are working on that. Pray Todd feels good when he wakes up and we can work this whole bath thing out. 

Already awake....

It is 5:30am and Todd and I are already awake. The time difference is hard to adjust to to, but we both slept so well last night. I went to sleep around 8:00pm and slept until a few minutes ago. Sarah feel asleep in my arms last night around 7:30 and she is still sleeping. She was wide open all last night. She is so funny. She has discovered the mirror and loves looking at herself. It is one of those full length mirrors and she laughs at herself when she looks in the mirror. Last night before dinner she kept licking the mirror so of course, we did the parent thing and told her "No, Sarah" and shook our heads and she walked away, but then went right back there and looked at us stuck her tongue out and got close to the mirror, but didn't touch it. Wow!! I prayed for a strong, smart girl and well, I think God answered my prayers. We wanted to laugh, but knew it wouldn't help any. We went to Walmart and McDonald's yesterday. More than likely Sarah had never been to either one. She pretty much goes with the flow. She loves french fries, but was not so crazy about the nuggets. She kept trying to feed Todd and I the nuggets. It is so hot here, yesterday the weather here made South Carolina seem mild. Can you imagine? All three of us sweated all day. When we  walk around people stare at us (we are always in a group) and usually ask to take our pictures. They especially want to take a picture with all three of us. We have had people come up to us to say thank you for adopting Sarah and they are happy for her. It is sad to hear that, but we are glad that people are being so nice. Again, I can't say enough about the people we are with here. They are wonderful. We all go everywhere together. One of the couples parents and sister traveled with her and they are so sweet. We have so many questions about this and that and they are so helpful. We are planning on going to the department store with them today and maybe going to the pool. We gave Sarah a bath Sunday night and she screamed and screamed so let's see how that goes. There are so many new experiences for her. We miss being at home so much, but we are trying to enjoy the people and culture here. I will post more later. We love and miss everyone!! 
You can't deny she is a cutie!! 

We meet our sweet Sarah....

Yesterday after traveling for 26 hours when we arrived in Nanchang around 10:00am, we were told that we would meet Sarah that afternoon around 4:00. We were not expecting to meet her until Monday! So, we showered and attempted to get ourselves together for the meeting of a lifetime. I can't even being to explain the emotions we felt waiting for her to get to the Civil Affairs office. We were scared...excited...and it almost felt surreal. I can't explain the emotions I felt when I first saw her. She was so sad and cried for about two hours after meeting her. She was inconsolable. We found out the Sarah actually didn't live in an orphanage, but was in foster care with a retired couple. She eventually warmed up to us and we were able to see some of her personality. Amazingly, we ate dinner together and she slept all night. This morning was a little challenging, we had to wake her up to make it to an appointment and I think that she was scared because she didn't recognize her surroundings. We got through that and the rest of the morning went well. We are now legally Sarah's parents now which feels wonderful. She discovered at the adoption appointment that she can walk. She may walk unsteadily, but she is walking without holding on to anything. Our hotel room is not baby proof so it is a little scary at times. If I had to describe Sarah to you, I would say that she is sweet, tough, sassy, smart and very stubborn. Last night when Todd was holding her, she rubbed his back. She loves to feed us her food. She waves at people when the walk by. When she doesn't get what she wants, she cries or screams (she also does this funny cute little thing with her mouth when she cries). She loves to throw things. She is curious about everything. If we show her to do something once, she can do it almost immediately. She has fallen more than a few times when she has been walking and she just doesn't cry, she says "ohhh..." and gets back up. She wants what she wants when she wants it. All of that sounds like a two year old, doesn't it? We are so happy to finally be with her, but it has been difficult at times. We don't understand much about her and that is hard for both of us. It has taken us yesterday and today to get her to drink because we weren't using the right cup. We don't know when she is tired or hungry, but we are learning each other. Todd and I still so exhausted, but we are loving being with Sarah. The other couples in our travel group are wonderful. We feel so supported.  This would be so hard to do by yourself. We miss home and can't wait to see everyone!!

Here are some pictures from yesterday and today. 

Leaving in less than 48 hours.....

I can't believe that we are leaving in less than 48 hours. I think that we are ready. Our bags are packed and I cleaned a good bit today. It feels like we are going to be gone for forever. Todd and I were talking this evening and this will be the longest that we have ever been away from home. My parents are taking care of our dog and our cat is staying at the house. I feel bad leaving Zoe for that long, but I don't think that she would want to be some place else. I am surprisingly calm. I thought that I would be so anxious the week before leaving that I wouldn't be able to sleep, but believe me, I am sleeping. I am not sure that it has quite hit me that we are leaving on Friday and that we will meet Sarah on Monday. I can't wait! I am sure that I won't be so calm that morning!  

Tickets....

I was upstairs today and I heard the doorbell ring so I ran downstairs and there was the Fed Ex man with our plane tickets! It is getting so close!! I can't wait!!

Leaving on a jet plane.......

We are leaving for China July 9th and will return on the 24th. We will meet our sweet Sarah on either the 11th or 12th. I am full of emotions right now. I am excited, but anxiety and fear is creeping in. I am anxious about traveling and being in other country where I don't know the language/food/culture. I am concerned about the transition for Sarah. While we have been dreaming of meeting her, she has been living her life. Meeting us is going to be so scary and confusing for her. I pray that we will be comforting for her and be the parents she needs. Pray for our anxiety (or should I say MY anxiety-you know Todd isn't worried about a thing) and pray for Sarah as her life is turned upside down!!

Travel Approval!!

We got travel approval yesterday....FINALLY!! I was so excited. We will know Monday or Tuesday our exact travel dates after our agency schedules our Consulate Appointment. We are praying for a speedy CA!! Hang on Sarah....we will be there soon!!

Sarah's Room.....

We finally finished  Sarah's room! We hope she likes and feels comfortable in it. I love animals, especially giraffes, I hope she does too. We also heard from our agency that we will be getting Travel Approval some time next week!! I hope that we can get a consulate appointment as soon as possible!! We are so ready to meet Sarah!!

Hopefully today is a better day........

I thought that we would receive our travel approval on last Thursday. Our agency did say that we may not get the approval until the begining of this week, but I had my heart set on getting it on Thursday. I was so sad and disappointed. I just want to be able to make our final plans to finally meet Sarah!! I am not feeling well today either, my throat is burning and my nose is running. Ugh! Summer colds stink!! I am hoping that I begin to feel better today!! Pray for us to get travel approval today and I feel better.

So Tired of Waiting....

My anxiety is at an all time high!! We haven't heard anything about when we are going to travel to China! I am so tired of waiting!! I am hoping that we traveling in the 2nd or 3rd week of June, but I am not sure that is going to happen!! I have planned my whole summer/life around traveling at that time. I am quitting work in a week and a half, I didn't sign up for any summer classes, and I am not going to my internship site in June or July. I wanted some time home with Sarah without anything to do.

I am a planner and I can't plan anything out when it comes to this whole adoption. It is so frustating. I am sad and anxious this evening. I pray that it will pass!

Celebrating our little Sarah....

On April 17th, our friends gave a wonderful baby shower at the park here in town. It was a beautiful day and we had so much fun hanging out with friends and family. We got so many wonderful gifts. We can't wait until we meet our little girl!!

Thought I would share another picture of Sarah! She is so cute!! She isn't smiling in any of her pictures. Todd says it because she is tired of waiting for us. :) It could be that or the fact that she was almost two and we know what that means: A sassy little girl!

So tired....

I am so tired today! We had such a busy weekend and the pollen is so bad here today. Todd washed the cars off Saturday evening and by Sunday morning they were yellow again! I have woken up the last couple of days with a headache! I took Clartin in hopes that I would feel better. Well, my headache is gone, but now I feel like I am in a haze. Ugh!
It's suppose to rain Thursday so maybe that will help!! I hope so! I don't like feeling so tired!

I have been thinking about Sarah all day today! I can't wait to be with her, but it all seems so unreal! I pray that we will be the parents that she needs. I hope that her birthparents feel some peace about their decision to give her up. I can't even imagine the gutwrenching decision they had to make. I pray for them all the time! I almost feel guilty that our blessing is something that must of been so heartbreaking for them. So much to think about....especially with a hazing, unclear mind!

Happy Easter!!

It's hard to believe that it is already Easter. I wish that we could be with our little girl! It is hard to go through holidays without her. Our church had a Easter egg hunt today and we weren't  able to go, but I am excited about having Sarah here next year so we hunt for eggs together.

We planted our garden today. It was such a beautiful day to be outside. I can't wait to see the vegetables and flowers grow. Well, we are hoping that they grow!! :)

May you feel God's love and grace during this Easter holiday!!!

Happy Birthday, Sarah!!

Our little girl turned two today! It makes me sad that we are not with her today, but am so excited that she is ours. I can't believe that we are finally going to be parents. We feel so blessed that God has brought her into our lives. Yesterday, we got our offical Letter of Approval from China that we can adopt Sarah. We will probably travel in 11-12 weeks from now! I dream of the day we will meet our little Sarah!! I am so excited to see her and Todd together. He is going to be the best daddy any girl could ask for.

I am so grateful that I am busy during this wait!!

Snow in South Carolina! We had 7-8 inches of snow Friday night! What a treat for us who live in the South! We had so much fun playing in it!!

 A beautiful brown eyed girl........

We were matched on January 21 with a 22 month old little girl from Fuzhou City,  China. We can hardly believe that after four years of waiting we are finally going to be parents. It is exciting and scary all at the same time. It is diffcilt to be so far away from your child. I worry about her and wonder what she is doing!! We are praying that we will travel at the end of May, the befgining of June! God has truely blessed us!!