Sarah had surgery yesterday to have her adenoids removed, tubes put in her ears, and her sinus passages widened. She has been sick on and off for almost a year so we knew that it was time to do something to help her. Sarah is so scared of doctors, nurses, and any kind of medical procedures so it was a difficult for us to decide for her to have surgery, but we didn’t want her to be sick all the time. She had weeks of congestion, nose bleeds, and vomiting. We tried to explain to her a few days before what was going to happen, but she didn’t seem to understand. When it was time for her to be taken back to the operating room, she was so upset. She screamed, cried, kicked, and yelled. It broke my heart. I know that from the time she left us to when she was asleep was only about 30 seconds, but  it felt like forever ( I stood in the hallway and listened until she wasn’t screaming anymore). I never want her to feel left or abandoned. She is so afraid that she becomes irrational. There is not reasoning with her. It is awful. She did great during her surgery, but when I went into the recovery room, she was sitting up screaming for me. She would not lie down or rest for the nurses, she was trying to get out of the crib and pull her IV out. As soon as I picked up and sat in the recliner she fell asleep. I was so glad to have her in my arms and feel her breathe on my neck. After we went to our room, she slept for a good while, but whenever the nurses tried to take her blood pressure she would scream, cry, and fight. It is almost like she has PTSD. Her open heart surgery was obliviously a major ordeal (she had it in China before adopting her) and I am sure that she was in lots of pain. Even though she had it when she was ten months old, I am sure that somewhere in her subconscious, she remembers some of it. The nursing staff was wonderful and so patient. They did the least amount of intervention that they had to ensure that she was doing okay. Our nurse on the overnight was wonderful. He felt so bad for putting her through all of that. I keep reassuring him that it wasn’t him, but any doctor or nurse. I worried that it would harm our attachment in some way, but I haven’t seen any of that so far. She has been clingy and whiney, but I am sure that she doesn’t feel the greatest. That is one of the differences between having a biological child versus adopting one. Adoptive parents always have attachment on their minds. Some people would disagree with me, but I believe that all adoptive children have some degree of attachment issues. Anyway…back to surgery ordeal. Sarah is doing great at home today. Everyone has been so supportive and loving. We couldn’t of felt more loved and cared for. Thank you!