Venting….

I have been thinking about writing this post for a week. I put it off because I was so emotional about the subject and wanted to write a post with some thought, not just emotions. Lately, there has been so much in the news regarding parenting and the structure and roles of moms. What bothered me the most was reading and seeing mothers ripped each other apart because their way was “better.” I just didn’t understand that. However, last week it hit me personally. I had a sweet friend call me upset and heartbroken after finding out that the mom’s in her play group were talking negatively about her kids and her parenting. What was even more heartbreaking was that NOT one of these women have ever talked to her about their thought nor have they ever offer any help to her. Nice, huh?  She is a good mom and a sweet, loving person.  Whose business is it anyway how she disciplines her children? Now, if she abusing her children that would be other people’s business, but she isn’t.  I am so tired of the debating! We debate about whether or not spanking is damaging to children, working mothers versus SAHM, breast feeding, vaccines, only feeding our children food, how much TV our children should watch, homeschooling, public vs. private schools, when a child should be potty trained, how old is too old for a bottle and a pacifier…the debating goes on and on. Maybe debating isn’t the right word, I appreciate an intelligent debate, but often there is an attitude of righteousness . What is best is what works for YOUR family, what helps you and your families grow and flourish. I have made parenting mistakes; I have had to apologize to Sarah. I have let her watch too much TV, let her drink coke, not discipline her when I should of because I was too tired, I have wished I had a job and the list goes on and on. Here is what I have done is love Sarah the best I know how. I have sought out help when I needed it. I have confessed to Sarah that I don’t know what to do. I am sure that someone has criticized my parenting! When we returned home from China, I had a hard time adjusting. Most people didn’t’ know I was struggling. Why? Because I was afraid of being judged. I was afraid that someone would day “Isn’t this you wanted?” Well, YES, it was and I still want it, but sometimes it is HARD. Often it isn’t Sarah that is hard; it is my own heart and attitude. In the last year, I have been some wonderful, loving friends who I feel comfortable being open with and seeking advice from. I love them and their families and know they want the VERY best for my family.  Now, I would be lying if I said I never criticize someone or even their parenting, but I know better now. Sarah taught me better. You just never know what is going on with a family, maybe there is a special need or problem that can’t be seen. Give other parents and children some grace. They probably need it.  I know I do!

So, what I want to say to my sweet friend’s critics is the next time you feel the need to be so cruel by talking about people and excluding them from play dates, SHUT UP and listen. Maybe the parents need help or wisdom. Love them.

My sisters, give yourself and someone else some grace today!!!