Sarah had surgery yesterday to have her adenoids removed, tubes put in her ears, and her sinus passages widened. She has been sick on and off for almost a year so we knew that it was time to do something to help her. Sarah is so scared of doctors, nurses, and any kind of medical procedures so it was a difficult for us to decide for her to have surgery, but we didn’t want her to be sick all the time. She had weeks of congestion, nose bleeds, and vomiting. We tried to explain to her a few days before what was going to happen, but she didn’t seem to understand. When it was time for her to be taken back to the operating room, she was so upset. She screamed, cried, kicked, and yelled. It broke my heart. I know that from the time she left us to when she was asleep was only about 30 seconds, but  it felt like forever ( I stood in the hallway and listened until she wasn’t screaming anymore). I never want her to feel left or abandoned. She is so afraid that she becomes irrational. There is not reasoning with her. It is awful. She did great during her surgery, but when I went into the recovery room, she was sitting up screaming for me. She would not lie down or rest for the nurses, she was trying to get out of the crib and pull her IV out. As soon as I picked up and sat in the recliner she fell asleep. I was so glad to have her in my arms and feel her breathe on my neck. After we went to our room, she slept for a good while, but whenever the nurses tried to take her blood pressure she would scream, cry, and fight. It is almost like she has PTSD. Her open heart surgery was obliviously a major ordeal (she had it in China before adopting her) and I am sure that she was in lots of pain. Even though she had it when she was ten months old, I am sure that somewhere in her subconscious, she remembers some of it. The nursing staff was wonderful and so patient. They did the least amount of intervention that they had to ensure that she was doing okay. Our nurse on the overnight was wonderful. He felt so bad for putting her through all of that. I keep reassuring him that it wasn’t him, but any doctor or nurse. I worried that it would harm our attachment in some way, but I haven’t seen any of that so far. She has been clingy and whiney, but I am sure that she doesn’t feel the greatest. That is one of the differences between having a biological child versus adopting one. Adoptive parents always have attachment on their minds. Some people would disagree with me, but I believe that all adoptive children have some degree of attachment issues. Anyway…back to surgery ordeal. Sarah is doing great at home today. Everyone has been so supportive and loving. We couldn’t of felt more loved and cared for. Thank you!

My wild, wild Sarah….

I love Sarah….she is so wild! Lovely, but wild. She does some crazy things. I often wonder what is going on in that brilliant mind of hers. Here are some of my favorites Sarah-isms:

• Yesterday we talked with Sarah about listening and we asked her, “What she listened with?” She pointed to one of her ears and then I asked her about her other ear and she said “Don’t listen with it.”
• Over the weekend we were cleaning out the garage and I look over and Sarah had her pants and underwear pulled down around her ankles. I asked her what she is doing and she said, ‘Mommy, pee pee!”
• Almost every night after dinner, Sarah takes all of her clothes off and says, “Naked time!”
• If I refer to Todd as my husband, Sarah will promptly say, “MY husband!”
• The other day I asked Sarah to clean up her mess and she said “Mommy, you do all by self!” I guess she told me…. J

Sarah is such a fun little girl. She is full of energy and is so sweet. About a week or so ago, I saw her stick up for one of her little friends at the playground. I was so proud of her. I don’t worry about Sarah being able to take care of herself. She has gained so much confidence in herself.

What a difference a year makes…..

Life has changed so much over the last year. Some of the changes are obvious to others, but most of the changes have been in our hearts.

I graduated from grad school. After 3 and a half long years, I am done. I am proud of that accomplishment. I ended well.

I am still at home with Sarah and have learned to love it over the last year. I don’t miss work as much and am enjoying the freedom of being home. I still miss the people I worked with, but am able to see some of my friends pretty often.

We left our church after 11 years. It was a very difficult, heart wrenching decision, but we know we made the right decision. We are attending a new church. We are enjoying our time there and are building connections with new friends. I am excited about going there and how I am growing in my faith.

Sarah started preschool last March and is still attending. She loves it. It has been so good for her and I. The teachers there love her and take great care of her.

Sarah language has improved so much over the last year. It is so wonderful seeing her developed in that area. She is still in speech therapy, but she is doing so well.

Sarah has become more confident in how she is. She is more outgoing, affectionate, and loving.

Sarah had a difficult time giving affectionate. She would allow us to give her affection, but she rarely reciprocated. Now, she is a snuggly bunny. She loves to snuggle. She will ask for affection and give it freely. She will say “I love you” without us saying it first.

Sarah is potty trained, Yay! It is so true what people say, “Kids will potty train when they are ready.” You really can’t force it.

Sarah went through a full year of holidays with us and they were so much fun. She is getting more excited about those occasions. She is excited about her birthday already.

Sarah saw the ocean for the first time and loved it. She is a beach kid of girl. She tans so easily and loved playing in the sand and water.

In a year Sarah went for a size 2T/3T to a 4T/5T. Her shoe sizes grew 2 sizes. She is getting so big.

Todd & I are learning each other as parents rather than just husband and wives. It is a fun, hard, exciting journey. Although, life can be difficult there is no other two people I would rather do life with than Todd and Sarah. 

Catching snow at church on Christmas Eve!

 Christmas party at preschool.