The silly things people say….

 People ask me the silliest things about Sarah. Sometimes I have something clever to say back and sometimes I have no idea how to respond. Let me share some of them:

“Is she your REAL daughter?” I capitalized the world “real” because people often emphasize that word when asking. I always say, “Yes, she is.” One time I said. “Yes, she is REAL and she is my daughter.”

“How much did she cost?” My usual response is “probably the same amount, it cost to give birth to a child.” I never know what to say to that.

“Does she know she is adopted?” or “Are you going to tell her she is adopted? I always say “Yes” but often I want to say, “Really? Don’t you think she will eventually figure it out?”

“Did you adopt her because you couldn’t have children of your own?” Now really, nobody should ask such a personal question of a stranger. The first time a stranger (a cashier at Target) asked me that, I didn’t know what to say. The next time I was asked that question, I answered, “No, I adopted her because I love her.”

“Does she look like her father?” I have only been asked that twice and both times Todd wasn’t there so maybe it is a valid question. I could have a Chinese husband, but then she would look Chinese-American, not Chinese. My response both times was “I don’t know.” You can only imagine the looks I got. I wonder what they thought of me. 

“Why didn’t you adopt from the United States? Kids here need a home too.” My response is “Every child needs a home and this is the path God led us to.” It is hard to argue with God, isn’t it?

“She is from China, isn’t she? Isn’t that the country that doesn’t want girls?” I always try to explain how different the culture is in China. I don’t know if I do a great job, but I try.

I don’t mind people asking questions about Sarah and adoption in general. I am obviously a huge fan of adoption and I love talking about Sarah, but I wish that people would think about what they are asking, especially in front of Sarah. She may be only three but she understands more than people realize.

Sarah’s story is hers and it is personal. It is a story of courage, determination, and love. It is hard to understand how someone, I assume, her mother, could leave her on the steps of a public place in a basket at 8 months, but she did what she felt was best for Sarah. I can’t imagine living in a society where I had to make such a gut wrenching decision. I don’t know the reason she was abandoned. I speculate it was because of her heart condition, but I don’t know that for sure. What I do know is that my heart breaks for her biological and foster family. I don’t know anything about her biological family, but we do know some about her foster family and she was loved very much by them. I pray that somehow both of her families know that she is loved, cared for, and adored. God has blessed me more than I deserve.